Thinking of You
by Fill the night with music
Summary: "I left something on your doorstep. Merry Christmas, Kate." For mcdalena, from your secret santa. Merry Christmas.


It was a few days before Christmas and one of the rare days that Kate had off since she had promised to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas day. The weather in New York City, New York had lightened enough to turn the flurries into soft showers that drummed across the roof as Kate dropped further into the plot of the slutty romance novel that Lanie had thrust into her bag when she had stopped by to wish her a happy holiday before heading out of town to spend her days off with her family in Pennsylvania.

Kate hadn't meant to actually start it, her own bookshelves brimming with novels that she been meaning to reread but the cover, a ruggedly handsome broad shouldered man with cheeks covered with a light sprinkle of dark stubble and piercing blue eyes arrested her, smirking up from a thin glossy cover as he held out a set of manacles, one thumb tucked into each hand hold.

She ruthlessly squashed down the stray thought her subconscious had briefly given wings, that he reminded her of Castle.

So she wasn't sure how she found herself several hours later curled up in a tiny nest of blankets, pressed close enough to the window to watch tiny droplets of water cling to the screen but far enough that the tiny tendrils of cold that managed to penetrate past the glass couldn't stretch out far enough and lick their way over her warmed flesh. A broad coffee mug, boldly portraying a K on the side, lay in close proximity, partially filled with coffee that a quick swallow informed her, had long gone cold, not that Kate had noticed until a soft barely there knock reached her ears.

She scowled at the door and curled further around the book, hunching down further into the blankets, tugging them over her head and shifting from nestled bird to hibernating bear. A slim arm reached out of the air hole and scurried along the wood until it bushed up along her phone, a quick grab and snatch before the cave wall fell over and encompassed her in complete darkness. She pressed the button on the top, turning it on so to use the flashlight app when the screen light up with text, "_Hey Beckett. Let you something on your doorstep. Happy Holidays." _

Kate stared at the message, then down at her book and back at the message before hesitantly typing a quick, "_Hold on, I'll let you in." _She reasoned with herself that it had absolutely everything with being polite and little to do with the fact that she had been fantasizing, increasingly uncomfortably, about him in the past couple of hours and something had plucked him from across town and plopped him on her doorstep. Crawling out of her tiny cave, ensuring in all ways that the salacious book remained buried under a mountain of covers, before she crossed across the apartment floor, toes curling against the cold wood. Peering out of the peep hole, she paused to puzzle over the distinct lack of partner on the other end before tugging it open to find a package resting on the doorstep.

It was covered in silver and blue swirls, a tangle of red and green ribbons stuck to the top when a pair of hesitant blue eyes swung in from the hallway, followed by a larger hesitant body that all seemed to be saying, I'm-the-single-father-of-an-adorable-child-please-hesistate-to-capciatate-me. He picked the box off the doorstep and held it out like a peace offering. "Merry Christmas?"

"What are you doing here?" He was wearing a dark blue scarf and matching blue hat that flattened his normally combed back hair and let strands fall into his eyes. Kate resolutely _refused _to allow any part of her to notice the resemblance between him and the half-naked man splashed across the cover of her novel, more so than already anyways. Absolutely not.

That scarf highlight his eyes, that did not seem any more piercing and it most certainly did _not _matter that there was stubble across his jaw and leading into his woolen scarf and, no it did _not _make her want to grab the ends of his jacket and return his greeting with her mouth before re-enacting all the delicious things she had been thinking about all afterno-

Lock that down Kate Beckett.

Desperately she wondered if Castle and Lanie had formed some sort of secret plan to drive her out of her mind.

"Merry Christmas," she managed to get out, wincing at the raw edge in her voice, attempting to shelf whatever gooey eyed expression was currently plastered all over her face and focusing, rather determinedly at the large parcel in his hands. Keeping her gaze away from his face, or his shoulders or for god's sake, the skin stretched over the fine bones of his wrist that made her want to press her mouth right ther-

She plucked the surprisingly heavy package out of his hands, spun around and marched as far away from his body before she ravished him in the middle of her hallway. What was _**wrong **_with her!? Reaching the dining room table, she leaned against the wood and pressed herself down on it as hard as she could to try and elevate the lust pouring into her muscles. The box gripped tightly so to stop her hands from dropping it in favor of gripping something more delectable, all the while cursing that stupid book and her wayward hormones.

Castle was still standing at the doorframe, peering curiously into her new apartment which she remember that the only time he'd been to her new apartment was when he and the boys helped her move in. It had changed rather drastically since then, and despite being tempted to retain the space between them, she cleared her throat impatiently, giving him a look which made him hastily close the door and hurry towards her. Watching him gawk would have given her too much time to stare at him, bringing to life far too many ideas that needed to remain unheeded.

Now that he could ascertain that she wasn't carrying the gun anywhere near her person, he offered her a quick flickering smile and a gentle encouraging nod, "Open it."

"Castle," she wasn't sure if she wanted to voice that thought but she still streamed ahead, "I didn't get you anything."

He simply shook his head, "Christmas is a season of giving Beckett. Just, just open it."

Slowly the paper was pulled away to reveal a dark cardboard shoebox that had been spray painted a deep black but Kate could pick out swirls the faint outline of red and blue swirls, glints of color imbedded into the paint with tiny gold stars flittering here and there. She tugged off the lid to find tinsel. She stared at it and then up at Castle who shrugged, "It's a Christmas Package."

The tinsel was red and green, and softer than she expected but she could see tiny ornaments playing peek-a-boo, here and there.

"I told Alexis that you were too busy to go shopping for Christmas decorations and you didn't want a present so…" he trailed off and studied her face. Kate pulled out the cover of tinsel to find underneath; glittering gold balls, a package of candy canes, a tin of hot chocolate, boxes of ready-to-make cookies, a red stocking with Kate proudly written in cursive, and a little wreath for her door.

She looked up to find him still babbling, "We knew a lot of your old things had perished in the fire and I know you're working Christmas Eve and Christmas day but when you come home, we wanted you to have some Christmas cheer to come home to."

Kate swallowed around the tiny lump in her throat that seemed to be swelling at an alarming rate, "Castle. Thank you."

"It's not much."

She picked out a tiny coffee mug ornament that was clearly handmade and let it carefully dangle from her finger, "It's everything."

She ducked her head so hide the burning behind her eyes, another finger tracing the edge of the shoe box.

"It's everything."

He was beaming at her with such a pleased look in his eyes and it was doing really funny things to her insides. Her cheeks burned and there was a funny warmth spreading through her that reminded her of that first gulp of coffee in cold mornings, luscious sensations flowing like molten gold, down the back of her throat and pooling into her stomach, entering her bloodstream somewhere along the way and flowing down to the coldest recesses of her body.

"Will you, will you help me put some of this up?"

Together, they wrapped glittering tinsel around her door frame, placed the wreath gently around the peep hole. From inside the box emerged a tiny elephant ornament, a little gun and a badge, and a surprisingly sexy heeled one that Castle placed the tiny elephant in and put on a show of elephant-Kate chasing a naughty Santa ornament across the dining table that sent Kate into hysterics. She didn't have a tree so they tapped two wire hangers together and hung the Christmas ornaments off some string, making a tiny Christmas chandelier that she hung over her home desk. The cookies and candy were stashed away for Christmas day, but they broke out the hot chocolate and watched part of Grandma Got Run Over By a Raindeer that Alexis had stashed at the bottom of the box in an inconspicuous white DVD envelope.

Finally Castle pulled out his phone and looked over at her, a slight wince on his face. "Alexis and mother," He waved the phone in Kate's direction. "We're going last minute shopping at some new mall in Jersey that mother's friend owns." Castle hesitates before shooting Kate a look full of barely hidden hope, "You want to tag along?"

"No." The word popped out too quickly and it hurt to see his face drop, disappointment painted across its cresses in a way that made her want to sooth them over with her mouth, he really was a ruggedly handsome man and age definitely agreed with him.

"No," she repeated, gentling her tone. "This is your special family time and," she went on over the protest forming in his eyes, "I actually do have some plans with Maddie tonight."

He nodded, pulling on his heavy winter coat and soft woolen scarf, turning around to say goodbyes as his fingers flittered with the buttons when her hand stayed his movements, fingers resting so briefly against his sleeve that they barely indenting the wool. Castle raised his head and suppressed the need retreat, slightly taken aback by how close she had gotten to him, her face solemn with an expression that he couldn't identify. The hand on her coat gripped slightly, keeping him rooted (rather unnecessarily since he was trapped between her body and the door), her other hand unfurling to reveal a small plastic bundle of mistletoe that he remembered placing in the box as a joke.

She reached the hand up and hung the the spring above his head.

Castle wasn't sure if there was air left in his lungs as he tried to make sense of the fact that Kate Beckett, was holding a kissing plant over their mutual heads, and action that was pushing her much closer to him than he could ever remember her being. There was a rushing in his ears, his mind lost between the smell of her penetrating every other thought, his head dizzy, muscles firmly locked into place as her eyes came close enough that he could watch the different colors of iris shift, hazel, green and grey all swirling in an artist's palette, briefly being allowed to blend and then separating again, a sheen in them that calmed his racing heart and brought motion back to his bones.

An arm wrapped around her slender waist in what he hoped was an attempt to steady that lithe body, moving increasingly closer to his.

"Thank you for thinking of me."

A kiss, no more than the brush of chapped lips over his, warm breath fanning over his cheek as she skimmed her mouth from his, skirting down briefly to press along his jaw line before continuing across his rough cheeks and lingering over the very sensitive skin of his earlobe. She let her tongue briefly flicker across the skin beneath it, cooling and then warming with her breath and suddenly Castle wondered if he was holding her up or the other way around.

"Merry Christmas, Castle."


End file.
